A New Mom’s Guide Sleep Training Your 2 Year Old

Is sleep training your 2 year old impossible? Have I waited too long? Let’s go back for a moment.

Picture this: You’re a new mom. Your baby is 5 months old. You’re attempting to breastfeed and failing miserably. 

You’re exhausted. You’re back to working 12 hour night shifts after a 2 month maternity leave and when your husband is at work during the day you are on baby duty.

And, your baby has also decided that they suddenly do not want to sleep in the Pack N Play anymore. What do you do? 

You put the baby in bed with you. Safely, of course! (following the safe 7) La Leche League is such a great resource for moms when it comes to breastfeeding, bed sharing, safe co-sleeping, all the things!

That’s exactly what I did. And ever since then, 2 years later, she is still sleeping in the bed with us. And she won’t leave. Is it too late to start sleep training your 2 year old?

Now: DISCLAIMER

I am not a doctor.

I am not a pediatrician.

I am not a medical professional of any kind so don’t take this as any expert advice.

I’m just a mom that wanted to sleep. I’m still a mom that wants to sleep, just not with my baby in the bed with me! (All the time)

Why is it so difficult to transition your toddler out of the bed? We’ve tried so many things.

How We’ve Tried and Failed to Sleep Train Our 2 Year Old

When she was younger, around 8 months we would try to put her in her crib, and she would of course cry. 

But she wouldn’t just cry. She would WAIL. She would scream like a banshee until you picked her up again. And being her mom, I couldn’t stand that. But we tried to be good parents and thought it would help her in the end. 

I’ve read all the articles about the methods. I’ve tried to let her “cry it out” even when I steeled myself to do so and it doesn’t work for us. She’s just too dependent on us still.

TV on, sound machines, night lights, nothing worked for us. We always gave up and brought her back into our bed. 

And that worked… kinda. It still kinda works.

The Problem

The problem is: my kid is a wild sleeper. She kicks and punches and pulls and scratches in her sleep. She does not sleep soundly at all. And she also wakes up every so often just to make sure we’re still there with her, which makes me feel so guilty! This combination of things would make anyone feel terrible when sleep training your 2 year old.

There were times, when we finally got her into her own bed that she would sometimes go to sleep for maybe an hour or so on her own. We would think, “This is it! She’s in her own bed!” Maybe we can snuggle with each other tonight we would think and then she would wake up, crying and upset and walk back to our bedroom to get in our bed. And we let her.

Here Comes the Guilt

Part of me feels guilty about it because she’s still just a baby. She’s two and a half but might as well still be a baby. She wants her parents; she doesn’t want to be alone. But all moms know that you just need some time to yourself sometimes. If you are the “primary parent” then you know what I mean. 

Maybe it’s our fault. We were fortunate enough to keep her home with one of us at all times and not put her in daycare. She never had another caretaker other than us. She’s never really slept anywhere other than home. Maybe if we had forced that change upon her a bit she would be more open to sleeping on her own.

Trying and Giving Up

We ponder these things, and we come up with plans but eventually we just give up. “She’s still too young” or “It’s not the right time” we might say. Our daughter is the type of child to do things in her own time you really can’t push her. She’s a true May Taurus IYKYK. 

And the other thing about it is, I do enjoy her sleeping with us. At least I used to. When she was little and tiny and squishy, and I could watch her sleep and just stare at her. Before she took to fighting us in bed with her knees in our stomachs and her elbows in our backs. 

There is a sense of comfort that comes with the feeling of protecting your child during their most vulnerable moments. Part of me doesn’t want to give it up. But the other part of me is begging to have our bed back! So, this leads me to our current plan: Operation: Get Our Bed Back. It’s a tentative plan that we’re working on which is really just a rehashed version of a previous plan we tried out when she was younger. 

Operation: Get Our Bed Back!

Current plan is to: introduce her back into her own bed at bedtime, complete with her Peppa Pig comforter set, and just sit with her until she falls asleep. This is the hard part. It’s been about 6-8 months since we last did this, both me and my husband just gave up on that fight but now we’re thinking about giving it another try. As I’ve said, you can’t force this girl to do anything, we learned that when it was time to give up the pacifier. Enough time has passed that she might think it’s a great idea to sleep in her own bed. That’s what we are hoping for.

So, follow me on this journey of Operation: Get Our Bed Back to see if we fail again.. or if we have success! If you were in a similar situation as us and have tips, please let us know what worked for you. We could really use the support! Also, any tips on how dealing with the feelings of guilt are also appreciated.

And advice for new moms: put them in the crib early. I know if you’re breastfeeding it’s tempting to keep them near your bed, I felt the same way. But don’t make the same mistake I did! It might save you a big headache in the future. 

But, don’t feel guilty if you do decide to safely co-sleep with your baby.

Until next time <3

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